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Films | Incredibly Strange TV

 

Tune In and Drop off the Couch

Nothing like starting off a season of strange television with an impressively varied double feature. We start off with a kooky acid tinged melodrama from the swinging 60s and then we careen off into weird assville for the supreme Asian oddity The Boxers Omen.

THE BIG CUBE USA/MEXICO / 1969 / 98m

The Big Cube of the title is slang for a sugar cube dipped in LSD, which is omnipresent throughout the movie. Adriana Roman (Lana Turner) is a famous actress who is retiring from the stage to marry wealthy Charles Winthrop (Dan O Herlihy), a situation that displeases Winthrop's daughter Lisa. While hanging out at a nightclub called Lisa is shown the bizarre effects that LSD-laced sugar cubes can have when added to a drink. She also meets Johnny Allen, a drug dealer who, once he learns that Lisa comes from money, is anxious to marry her. While Adriana and Winthrop are away, Lisa and Johnny hold a wild drug and sex party at her home. When her father walks in on it, he forbids Lisa's marriage. Soon thereafter, Winthrop drowns at sea, but Adriana follows his orders that Lisa will be disinherited if she marries Johnny. The two plot their revenge by lacing Adriana's sleeping pills with LSD....


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THE BOXERS OMEN Hong Kong / 1983 / 105m

Back in the good ol pre-DVD days of video trading, The Boxer's Omen was like THE Holy Grail of HK flicks. Those who'd seen it via nth-generation VHS copies censor snipping and brittle burnt subs falling off the side of the screen be damned sworn they'd seen the ne plus utlra of weirdo Asian cinema. Others (like me) had lucid dreams of the damn thing long before they'd actually seen a frame of it. Now in completely REMASTERED, UNCUT form and on TV! you can actually see, with eye-popping clarity, that The Boxer's Omen, is in fact, the fucking shit. <class="center">

Directed by Shaws top exploitation specialist Kuei Chi-hung who previously made fabulously unhinged and un-PC delights such as The Killer Snakes and Bamboo House of Dolls this is one exceptionally demented and surreal blend of far-out Buddhist mysticism and South East Asian voodoo witchcraft! Of course, the plot doesn't make a lick of goddamn sense: what starts off innocently enough with a man (kung fu star Phillip Ko) avenging the brutal beating of his brother at the hands of a Thai boxer (Bolo Yeung) suddenly disappears into a wormhole of tripped-out Jodorowsky-esque visuals and charmingly cheap putrid gore effects that'll have you going holy fucking shit did I just see that every ten minutes that's if you're not already levitating from its astral plane head-fuckery.

If there isn't a bat skeleton regenerating from rat blood one minute, there'll be someone throwing up a two-foot eel or being attacked by a self-detaching head with slithery tendrils. Words fail to describe the ending of this batshit loony masterwork: it'll have you questioning your sanity, and realise the only cure is to re-watch the whole thing again to make sure you didn't just didn't just imagine it. As wild as they come. AY